My proudest moment EVER is when I delivered my youngest daughter.
I am so completely petrified of physical pain that I always knew an epidural would be a part of my birthing plan – I wish this were different, but I also know me, and if a baby was to come out of me the only way would be with drugs.
This proved helpful with my first born because I was in labour for 32hrs with her – I’m not sure if I would’ve made it to the finish line and have the energy to push if it wasn’t for that epidural. But the youngest was different. She knew that mama needed to experience herself being brave and strong and uncomfortable. So, my second born gave me no choice – labour wasn’t even a full 2hrs in length, it came on all of a sudden and with intensity and it was GO time. Once I made it to the hospital, I was ready to push. I was fully dilated and there was no time for an epidural. My husband had to take care of our oldest daughter, so he wasn’t in the room, and my parents and sister were out of town on route to me, but still not in the delivery room. I had a nurse, a wonderful warrior nurse, who didn’t flinch when I threatened her life. And when I realized that no amount of negotiating would get me that epidural, I went to a place inside myself and knew it was on me and I could do this – but I had to push through, get past the pain, keep riding that train until I got to the other side and out of the tunnel. In 2 pushes I got that baby out and it was the proudest moment of my life! I did it. I could be strong like other women. I could bring life into this world; I could usher in something perfect the likes of which the world had never seen before. I could do that. I did that. All I had to do was try 😊